ANITA: Behind the Scenes

Here's your chance to finally watch  Anita.
 But remember once you see it you cannot unsee it.

Recently an award-winning short film I starred in, "Anita" played at the Filmbar in Phoenix.  I had always hoped to have this film play in Phoenix.  I am very proud of this film and my work in it, even though I play an absolutely despicable human being.  Many of my friends came to the showing that night and it was received very well by the audience.  Since so many of my family and friends are not in Phoenix and many have asked for the chance to see it, I can now finally share a link to watch it.  So please take 20 uninterrupted minutes and watch it on as big a screen as you can because it will have more impact than if you watch it on your phone at work and get distracted a million times.  Afterward remember, I WAS JUST ACTING!  You've been warned, lest you want to potentially think of me differently after viewing. Then continue reading the blog and you can learn about my time making it over 5 days in Flagstaff and all the challenges that came with it.  Without further adieu, here is "Anita":

https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=10s&v=gqfyAhnN4LQ

Well if you made it back to this point, let me first thank you for taking the time to watch it.  Second, I hope you still want to be my friend.  But seriously this was a very challenging role to take, to do and to then watch myself on screen acting in such a manner. Let's start at the beginning.

Preparing for the most challenging role I may ever have.

In February 2018 I was auditioning for a different movie and afterward the casting director told me he had another film he thought I'd be great for and would I be interested in auditioning for something else.  I did and it was for "Anita".  The casting call was looking for a male my age to play an abusive father and someone who could potentially speak French.  So that was all it said and abusive can mean so many different things.  None of them good of course, but not all of them as evil as it turned out to be.  I had taken French in high school with Madame Balasis(those who had her remember her wackiness very well) so of course I speak french! As an actor when asked to do anything your first response is always, "Yes, I can do that." So of course I'm a French linguist, even though it was 20+ years ago and I haven't spoken any of it since.  C'est Bon! As far as auditions go, they usually give you a scene or two to do in front of people.  But those scenes don't always give you the full scope of the movie.  In this case I auditioned for the writer/Director and the casting director and I knew it went great.  I spoke the french well, even though I had no idea what I said, but I remember how to read and speak it.  Madame Balasis always told me I had "perfect intonation and annunciation".  Who knew that would actually prove valuable at any point in my life!  You generally know when you audition well, you can feel it, and afterward they asked me to wait while they auditioned a few others.  When they were done they told me they really liked me and they wanted me to read the whole script. So I did and soon realized the full scope of the part that I had just auditioned for.  But to their credit they wanted me to know before things went any further.  They didn't offer me the part at that moment, but I was in the mix and they wanted me to be fully aware if I was to stay in the running.  The next day, or maybe a few days later, they offered me the part. Now I had thought about the heaviness of this part since reading the full script and I was on the fence, but I'm telling you as an actor when someone offers you a part you almost instinctively shout  "Yes" every time.  In this case I knew that the production quality  was going to be very high-level and it would be an immensely challenging character to play and I have enjoyed stretching myself as an actor, so I readily signed on.

Kelcie and I rehearsing with me likely telling a bad joke.

We had some rehearsals ahead of filming which was going to take place over 5 days in Flagstaff, Arizona in March 2018.  During rehearsal is when I finally had the chance to meet Kelcie Weber who would play Anita.  I thought my role was challenging, hers maybe more so.  Either way, we would both need to be prepared for some intense days. For a lot of films you don't have any rehearsal. It's usually a time issue and people not always being close by, so once you get on set, that's it.  In this case it was nice to have the chance to meet Kelcie ahead of time and practice.  We seemed to instantly have a good rapport and it appeared to me that we would work well together.  Obviously this was some intense stuff so it was really important for us to be in sync.  It's such a serious film but some levity was brought to the whole situation by being able to meet and rehearse ahead of time.

Family photos.  Doesn't Anita looked thrilled?  
Look closely in the film and you'll see it in the background.

When it was time for filming, they had rented an Air BnB  in Flagstaff and we had the bottom floor of a house.  Ironically they chose this particular location because the room had a giant fireplace.  However good luck seeing in the movie. The owners lived upstairs and were there the whole time and fully aware of what we were doing.  I met them and ironically they were from Marquette, Michigan and had moved to Arizona a number of years before. So I took that as a good omen from the start.  They even had a broken guitar, for whatever reason, so they let us use that, which if you did indeed watch the movie all the way through, you know that was a vital prop. In fact everything in the room was specific to the movie.  They cleared out the whole room and brought in all the furniture and props, everything was relevant to the characters whether you actually noticed the props or not.  Detail beyond any project I've ever worked on before or since.

Getting underway with Scene 1.  
Interesting being in bed with literally 25+ people around you.

As I recall the first day on set we just did blocking and walk through rehearsing.  It was all filmed in a bedroom, so a tight space and we spent time figuring out where the camera could be and all the crew and such when we did certain scenes.  A really good film figures this stuff out so that each shot gets the best quality look and there is more movement in this film then you may think, even if you just watched it.  We move around the bed and on the floor and such and you need different camera angles for everything.  When we finally got to filming, the day started with both of us in hair and makeup.  They had multiple people doing this, even though there were only 2 of us.  Then we started shooting and for the most part we filmed in order, which is not always the case. So we started with us on the bed and Anita telling me to Fuck Off in French.  Rehearsing and preparing is one thing, but when the camera is on it's time to perform and hopefully we would have the right chemistry on-screen.  Her cursing at me was the perfect way to start.

Getting notes from Director Mariah Jones.

After a long day we wrapped and everyone was pleased as it seemed to go really well.  Kelcie and I had seemed to find a good rapport, which is the only way this film works.  She couldn't just hate my character, after all I adopted her as a kid, when no one else did, so to her character she had to be conflicted about someone that took her in and "loved" her while also realizing later on that what he'd done is wrong and horrible.  So there were many layers for her to convey.  Just like there was for me because for my character he "saved" her and doesn't think what he's doing is necessarily wrong so I had to not just be an angry abuser but show "love" and that I care about her in my own demented way. Needless to say, challenging and after Day 1 we felt good on the direction it was going. Onto to Day 2 when the first thing we learned while sitting in hair and make up(I hardly needed any, I have perfect skin after all, I am a model) is the guy operating the sound screwed it up yesterday so everything we did was without sound and would have to be redone. Clearly not good news.  However, with every project I've been on I am happy to redo anything because the more you do it, the better you get at that scene and new ideas come about and after all, yesterday was Day 1 and Kelcie and I were still figuring each other out. So it did indeed set us back in time but we'd already blocked and shot everything once so all of the technical stuff was out of the way and we could just act the scenes out again.  In the end I would say it was a blessing. In the moment, sacre bleu!

There was more choreography than you may think with our dance scene.

Day 2 went really well, the sound issues were resolved.  We did the dance scene, which really took a lot of time as our movements had to be shot from different angles and again the room was a tight space for the 25+ crew and camera. As we headed into Day 3 we were going to focus the day on the scene where I draw on her body, highlighting her problem areas with a sharpie.  Certainly it was going to be an intense day.  If you watch it back you will see that I have all the lines in that scene, but Kelcie is completely exposed and has to cry, so it was challenging.  I could only really draw on her once as the sharpie would be too hard to wash off for multiple takes, so we had to get it right.  Plus I was going to have to touch her and make an absolutely uncomfortable situation seem "normal" to my character.  The Director cleared the room for this scene so it was really just the Camera and sound and her and us two.  We rehearsed multiple times because I wanted to get it right, of course, but I only wanted Kelcie to be exposed as little as possible.  So we rehearsed and rehearsed and then I asked to rehearse again.  Each time I had it right but I was nervous.  Finally the Director said we are doing it and of course about halfway through I screwed up a line. I felt so terrible, I really did.  So we did it again and that's what you see on film.  We had to shoot a few different angles, it was a tough day.  I'm honestly not sure if Kelcie and I spoke to each other off camera all day.  We were both in a weird and difficult place that day.  Considering we were the only two actors and there is tons of downtime when filming, we seemed to stay apart. Easily the most uncomfortable I've ever been on set and it was nobody's fault, just the heaviness of what we just did.  That night I had a bit of a freak out and I talked at length with my Manager Erin-Marie. At that moment I was really conflicted with haven taken this role and playing such a horrible person and having it on film, but she talked me down and she probably has no idea how much that truly helped me get through it.  I never really thought of walking away but I definitely was in a weird space after being "Hayden" for 3 days. You can't be that evil and then just go back to being your regular self, well not  unless you really are a sociopath.

This was not an easy role to play and it messed me up a bit for a few days after.

Day 4 came and we did the death scene.  I spent over an hour in makeup as they built a fake neck on my neck that was bloody and looked like someone that had been strangled.  I had to lay perfectly flat the whole time with my head tilted.  It was really uncomfortable.  We did that scene a number of times and the lead up to it with Anita on the floor and climbing up on the bed towards me. This was the ultimate scene in the movie so it had to be done right.  We did a number of variations of my look as I am dying.  Originally they wanted me to smile as I died as though I knew this day would come.  But ultimately we went with me just struggling and fighting back and closing my eyes.  One of the reasons I knew this film would turn out well is because they had me do my lines many different ways.  Some really angry, some really loving, some in between.  Then they had all the footage to piece together and had variations for each point of the film.

Anita getting ready to climb up on the bed and end her misery.

Watching the playback of Anita killing me with Director Mariah Jones. 
When I saw this I instantly new we had something special.

As I recall, Day 5 was just some inserts and light reshoots, nothing heavy and it was only a few hours.  We wrapped and I drove back home.  When you finish any movie its a strange experience as you've just spent time being someone else and in this case 5 days of being someone horrible.  I felt uncomfortable and gross for a day or two. I had another minor episode of "What have I done?" knowing this would be on film forever and people may get a bad impression of me.  It's a quandary in that if I play the character well people will hate me and at the same time if I don't do a good job the movie will suffer and people will see that I can't act. So I really struggled with that. However I knew we had just done something special, as creepy as it is.  During the filming of the sharpie scene is when I found out this was based on a true story.  To which I immediately said they have to open the movie with that so that people know it's not just a vicious movie and that I'm not just a horrific made up character but a real one.  Unfortunately a bad man,  but I felt the audience needed to know that.  They thought it was a good idea and were going to consider adding that and ultimately did and when you see that at the end it really does have an impact.

The final shot of movie.  That a wrap!

We finished shooting in March 2018 and their first goal was to show it at the historic Orpheum Theater in Flagstaff in May for a Film Festival. So I waited for that and saw no footage and no pictures before then. I had felt when working on it that we really had something good but I had no way of knowing.  Editing, music, sound quality, it all plays so much of a factor for any movie, you just never know how it will turn out.  Leading up to the premier I decided to not shave because I wanted to look as different as I could from filming.  It's a big theater and it was sold out that night.  I was very nervous for many reasons.  The Director of the festival recognized me, as he had watched all the films, and he came over to me.  We talked and I mentioned I had not seen our film yet, no footage at all.  He then told me I was "excellent" and that gave me a moment of calmness. When it finally played it was surreal watching myself.  Even I felt gross at times.  I had no idea how the audience would respond to such a dark film but they seemed to embrace it as it was greatly received and won the first of many awards that night before being sent to film festivals all over the country.  When it finally played in Phoenix a few weeks ago, I hesitated to even invite my friends because I didn't want them to potentially view me differently.  No one had seen it but me.  However that night, Kelcie and I were warmly received.  People were shocked and uncomfortable, I'm sure, but the compliments afterward were very appreciative and humbling.  I may never again play a character so dark or challenging but I am happy that I stretched myself to do it.  Playing this character in many ways has made me a true actor. It was an incredibly difficult 5 days in Flagstaff making this but it was also a privilege to be a part of this no matter how dark it was or how it makes me look.  It's acting.

However, it does seem like it's time for me to finally do something a little lighter! 
Perdre la boule!

The beard didn't disguise me very well as I was recognized by seemingly everyone that night, 
but in the end I am extremely proud to have been a part of this film.  

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood....err, Scottsdale.

Worlds colliding Jerry!  Worlds colliding!!!!!!

Welcome back!!!!!!

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years. 2 years to be exact since I've last blogged anything. But oh my what has transpired in those two years.  There are many reasons why it's been so long and hold on, we'll explore a few of those shortly.  But after recently seeing the Quentin Tarantino film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I suddenly felt some inspiration to write a new blog.  Which was sort of confusing because I'm not much of a  Tarantino fan really, but this film is fantastic, with some incredible acting and great story telling, I'd highly recommend it. Despite the fact that he took a true story, merged it with pure fiction and then rewrote real history with a crazy ending involving a flamethrower.  All the back and forth of truth and fiction nearly made my head explode.  Don't worry film nerds, if you haven't seen it yet I didn't just ruin it for you.  Besides if you are such a Tarantino fan you should have already seen it by now.

I may not have written in awhile but I'm always FIRED UP!

If you read my blog previously(and if you haven't do it right now......I'll wait.......) then you learned of my crazy entry into the world of entertainment.  Quit shaking your head, its really happened, deal with it!  Keep in mind my whole life I've worked as a white collar professional.  I was never in theater as a kid or in school nor had I acted in any way before all of this started a few years ago.  Most co-workers I've had have zero idea that I act, most of my neighbors don't know and even some of my friends either don't know or are back in Michigan and somewhat suspicious of anything I may have shared.  The main reason being I have a hard time considering myself an "Actor", I do act, at least recently, but I have a hard time saying I'm an actor.  It has all happened out of the blue and so quickly and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my friends and family or anyone really, typical insecurity I suppose. But I have come to learn and accept that I do have some acting talent and I have done a deep dive head first into studying, training and learning all I can.  It's led to some incredible opportunities as well as some wacky and interesting situations. I'm trying to accept it all and be better at talking and sharing about it as it's not going away anytime soon because one thing I quickly learned is that even the worst day on a set is a million times better than any day of regular work in an office. Who wouldn't want more of that?  So as  I continue to work on my craft, I thought writing again would also be helpful to me from a creative standpoint as I search for my true essence.  Finding my inner being, the place I can go to, to get deep into character.  After all, I'm an artist now.  Right? Maybe?  Whatever. You're here now so you might as well read the rest of this.  Just know I won't be invoking any revisionist history with my life in telling these exploits, just what actually has happened or not.  Well, at least that's my plan, we'll see how this goes, in the end rewriting history may be a better choice.

Look for it in theaters.  Keep looking.  Keep looking.
Keep.......looking........
Cool poster though.

My last blog entry detailed me playing a lead role as Detective Rudy Gehrhardt in the feature film Men of Mercy. A gritty, urban thriller where I chased a teenage gang while trying to solve a murder. In so many ways this was an abrupt education into film making and the industry and for someone as new to it as me I chose to look at it that way and get all of that value out of it for myself.  As an independent film it was done on a shoestring budget, which meant long periods of delay in filming and in post-production.  I quickly learned that as an actor you are basically a hired gun.  You are contracted to act the scenes but then you have zero control over what may or may not happen after that.  So you sit around waiting a lot or just move on to something else.  I did see a final-cut version at a cast party in January of this year and overall the movie turned out solidly.  What happens now, you know as much as me.  But the conundrum with any independent project is that if you are trying to sell it then you cannot have any kind of public showing.  Even some Film Festivals have exclusivity rights so depending on your desire you could have a finished product just sitting idle, hoping to sell it, waiting for something, which is what appears to have happened here.  However the other real takeaway for me was meeting fellow actors, imparticularly the main star of the film, KK Starrs and her mom and dad, Erin Marie and Barry.  They have all become great friends; KK is easily the most talented person I've ever known(more on that forthcoming) and Erin Marie has in many ways become my de facto Manager while Barry is still waiting for the Bears to get even an average FG kicker.  The thud you just heard was Barry throwing his IPad across the room. But since no one will likely ever see this movie and since I had a tremendous amount of scenes and if I can be objective, I think I did a solid job.  Maybe not award-winning, but then again, chances are you won't see it so let me restate that and say I gave an Oscar-worthy performance and I will await my award next year.  I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents, my friends and to all of those people that encouraged me along the way.  You are all my heroes!  Baba booey!

I always seem to have plenty of scripts to read.  I keep a lot of them, even a few of parts I didn't get to see if they ever turn into something.

With all the delays in filming Men of Mercy I started doing as many auditions as I could in Arizona and in California.  My thought was to just audition as much as I could, even if I thought I had no chance for a role, because every audition would be a learning experience. Amazingly I started to get cast in all sorts of things.  I'm sure I'll have some of this out of order, but I got cast as a Professor in a Sci-Fi short called "3631" which led to the Director writing a contest short around me called "The Sugar Project". That led to me getting a lead role in a gritty, true story short film called "Loop" that was shot at the Universal Studios Backlot.  I played a drug-addicted father.  It was a really difficult role to play. I studied addiction heavily and let myself go a bit to get really uncomfortable in my own skin.  It was a challenging week of rehearsing(which we did on the set of the Showtime hit Ray Donovan) and filming, which took place on Wisteria Lane, the old set of Desperate Housewives.  Playing that tough of a role/person stayed with me a day or two afterward.  The Director was hoping to sell the short into a feature but it didn't happen.  However, filming a movie at Universal Studios and being on the backlot on a live set when the tour trams come around with tourists snapping pictures, it was definitely a cool and surreal experience.

On the set of Loop at Universal Studios with Director Cecil Green and Mattea Lee who played my daughter.

I had been fortunate at this point to have gotten a number roles but there were probably twice as many that I didn't get.  Including the role of a solider in an incredible short film, My Sekret War.  One of the few times I was truly disappointed.  But if you ever get a chance to see that, do it. But that's part of the process and I had a regular job and this is all just sideline stuff. But then I got what I thought was the ultimate role for me to play the Head Coach of a Professional Football team in a TV pilot entitled "The Head Coach".  It was more of a serious, issues drama rather than football driven but the whole concept was incredible to me to think that I would be the lead in any TV show.  The script was solid, but I learned another lesson in that not everything transfers from script to screen in a smooth way.  Ultimately it didn't turn out as great as I hoped, but nonetheless it was a great experience.  I brought my parents to a day of filming and they could not have been any less impressed or enthused.  After about 5 minutes my dad actually said, "Can we go now?" only to be topped by my mother after filming one scene and her watching the playback, "Is that it? 2 minutes? You spent all this time for a 2 minute TV show?".  Needless to say staying humble is a non-issue for me.  I love you mom and dad!

Even though my parents weren't captivated in the least, don't worry, they still love and support me.
Meanwhile I made the ultimate boss move in getting Ana an extra role in my first film Dream Big!(now on Netflix) when we were first dating.  It worked, for awhile.  Hmmm, I better find another movie I can get her in.

The real key to all of this was that I was building a resume of work(I don't have enough time to share every project I've done) and mostly in lead roles which would prove valuable when auditioning in the future.  Soon I was cast in a psychological thriller feature film called "Seven Devils".  Filmed in Seattle, LA and Phoenix, I had a big role playing a menacing character who sets up the whole movie.  I saw playback of my scenes and a few other people saw it as well, and it turned out fantastic. That movie is still in post-production and hopefully will be available by the end of this year.  That led to the Director asking me to be in a music video he was shooting for a southern rock artist, Christopher Shayne.  The video was for the song "Burn Me Down".  It was great fun to make and I will not be objective when saying it may be the greatest music video ever!  I even got my friend Jack to play my boss and I've replayed the moment of choking him every time I see him.  Not really, relax, Jack gets the joke.  But I suppose that since we live in such a sensitive society these days, I feel like I have to let everyone know I'm just joking.  Look for my apology on my Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter later today....

Seven Devils up top and Left, it's going to be a great film.
Christopher Shayne and I Burning it Down on the right.

It may seem like I have done a lot of things, and I've only touched the surface, but my regular life of work, running, friends and hobbies was all going on as well.  There is so much downtime in this industry and often times the shoots are only 1 day or a couple.  So you can do a lot in a relatively short period of time.  I still ran the Phoenix Marathon as I have every year since I moved here in 2012.  In fact this year I trained harder than I ever have(sadly not with my best results).  My friend Gregg and I hiked Mt. Humphreys again in Flagstaff.  Something we've done almost every year.  Hiking over 12K feet is no joke!  I did any number of long bike rides with my Phoenix friends, those are always great fun.  My life-long friend Bacon flew in last fall for the MSU-ASU football game in what turned out to be the hottest recorded game in ASU history.  Which is saying something, it was pretty gross.  Had a really difficult breakup.  And I had great trips back to Michigan including tons of fun with my friend Doug and  a crazy trip on his boat to Beaver Island.  The whole group of us will remember that forever.  So my regular life still happened and still does to this day.  I don't take every role that's come my way and I've turned down auditions when I knew the project would interfere with my job or life.  I suppose if acting was my life I'd never do such a thing but I don't regret the way I've handled anything so far.  No reason to dwell on anything, just move on and in the words of Doug, Live Life!  He does that better than anyone I know. I try.

Always trying to Live Life and beyond blessed to have so many people to enjoy it with!

I share a lot of good things, of course, but like everyone else, not everything in life is positive.  I did lose my Uncle Al this year.  He was 90 years old and unfortunately cancer knows no boundaries.  He lived a great life and we always had a special connection.  He and my Aunt Rae retired to Arizona 25+ years ago and live near Las Vegas.  When I first moved to Phoenix I didn't know anyone and there were many weekends I drove the 3.5 hours to their place and he and I spent hours in the Laughlin Casinos sportsbooks watching and betting on football and basketball.  We had many parallels in our lives, so many similarities.  He shared stuff with me he's never shared with anyone else and I did the same.  We had that kind of relationship.  Rare for men, but how lucky I've been.  I always looked forward to spending time at their place. He thought it was so incredible that I had found my way into the world of movies and TV and I'd spent so much time at their place they often referred to their spare room as Chris's room, much to my cousins(their kids) chagrin.  But because of that, purely as joke, I gave them a signed 8x10 of my headshot.  To my surprise they actually hung it up in the room and it still hangs there for all to see.  Silly, yes, please don't think I take myself that seriously.  But the times we spent and all the life lessons I learned from him will be cherished forever.  You will be forever missed Uncle Al!  Definitely send me some betting tips from above, I'm guessing you might have a way to get inside information.

Holding my headshot, and always smiling and laughing.
Thanks for being in my life Uncle Al! Your legend will live on forever!

There is no good segue from that.  But the picture above was earlier this year and it's been quite a year already as far as projects go.  In January I got a really fun role in a feature film called "The Deadbeats" which will be out around Halloween.  I don't want to spoil any of it but I get into a physical altercation with a clown and I got to work with Tori Osborn, who I have seemed to work with 7-8 times.  We've played about every iteration of a relationship possible and in this movie we were a (un)happy couple throwing our daughter a birthday party.  My favorite role with her was in the music video.  Watch it again and you can see her throwing things at me.  She was way too happy to do that I might add.  But when you act in Arizona you tend to run into the same people a lot and she and I certainly have and I know we will work together again.  I then did a run of commercials.  I filmed a series of them for the website Curated.com where I played a dimwit named Uncle Larry. A fun departure.  I did a commercial where I played a felon, that really turned out well. Then I did a Sam Adams Beer commercial which was really cool in theory but when I saw the finished spot you can only see my chest with a beer in front of me, not my head(or anyone else's, how dare they made the beer the focal point!).  After that I was contacted by my talented friend KK who had written a script and was going to make and Direct the movie herself and she asked me to be in it.  Keep in mind she's a teenager!  She's won awards for her acting and now she's writing and directing, are you kidding me?  But I was delighted and we made the film "Liberty".  It was a challenging role for me but it was great fun and it turned out really well.  She's had the film accepted by Film Festivals and it will be showing at one this fall and more later on.  Anything she's attached to turns to gold and I'll gladly glom on like a barnacle if possible.

A collection of some of the films Tori and I have done, me with Mr. Patches in The Deadbeats, and shots from Liberty.

Then as summer came along I was fortunate enough to get cast in two more TV pilots.  Both completely different types of shows. The first The Circles Under Our Eyes, I play a lead role as the patriarch of crime family.  We will be shooting 3 episodes of what will hopefully be a 10 episode season.  It has just started filming and it is going to be wild.  Plus it's given  me the chance to work with two of my friends, Greg Wave, who is the main lead and plays my son, and Stew Jetson who plays my villainous brother.  I've acted with both guys before and become friends with each of them. Greg also wrote a short film called "Into the Fray" which he asked me to be in.  I played a psychiatrist and from all the footage I've seen already it's going to be fantastic and should be done this fall and likely will be accepted to many festivals.  The other pilot may be the most meaningful project I've ever worked on entitled "Learning Laron".  In the show I run a large law firm and Laron works for me and let's just say I'm not a great boss.  I've filmed all of my scenes and I know they turned out well. The guy playing Laron, Alan R. Johnson, is fantastic and we worked really well together doing some intense scenes.  I expect this show will get picked up and seen somewhere it's way too good not too.  This month I fly back to Sacramento to finish filming "The Diner", a twilight zone-esque thriller, and bigger budget SAG feature film where I play a principle role as a Real Estate Developer who must atone for some misdeeds.  We are not allowed to share virtually anything about this but I know it will turn out great and should be done and out this fall as well.  But one of the most exciting things for me is the Phoenix premiere of a short film I did called "Anita".  It will play at the Filmbar in Phoenix as part of the Arizona Filmmakers Showcase at the end of the month.  It's won awards at Festivals and it is something I am very proud of even though it is incredibly dark and disturbing and I play a horrible person.  It may likely be the most challenging role I could ever play.  I filmed it last year with Kelcie Weber, who plays Anita, and who might also end up being in the Circles TV show.  She gives an incredible performance and it was quite an experience making this important film.  If you are in Phoenix I expect you to be there.

Learning Laron with Alan and Director Jermaine Shoulders, a behind the scenes shot of Into the Fray, a shot of another pilot I did with Greg, Dealin' with the Dead where I play his attorney. Two shots of Anita, one of us rehearsing.

So needless to say the last two years have been quite a whirlwind and there were a number of other projects I was fortunate enough to be a part of and great people that I've worked with.  Not every project turned out well or was probably even that great to begin with.  But if you want to act you have to do anything you can and learn and improve. I've embraced that and I'm trying harder to share and truly embrace the fact that acting has now become an integral part of my life.  For most of the time is was just a cool thing that happened and then another project would happen and then another.  With every dry spell I just assumed that was it and I never wavered from my regular life.  I still don't know if I ever will try and devote myself solely to acting but I know this; we all encounter forks in the road of our lives and not all forks are bad or necessarily tough decisions, merely a different path to take.  For whatever reasons I have taken some unlikely paths and continue to do so. I've studied hard and learned as much as I can and I'll put my acting training and classes and management up against any one's, but the real key is everything I've done has worked for me and  I've done my best to learn from it and to try and be the best actor I can whether I've had a lead role or a smaller part. It's all still amazing to me and I appreciate every opportunity I've been given. It's even led to me writing my own short film script and getting a production company to make it.  That film is called "Purgatory" and we'll be shooting it the end of September.  It's really exciting and unbelievable to me that any of this has happened.  Starting and writing this blog 7 years ago was really just a way for me to keep in touch with my family and friends in Michigan.  It turned into great therapy for myself as I was divorced and living alone for the first time in my life in a state where I knew no one.  But I think it also fueled my creative side, a side maybe I either never realized I had or thought I could pursue.  But after all this time I think I am now able to admit and proclaim to myself and anyone else that I am an indeed an Actor!  Everything that's happened to me is a lot like a Hollywood tale, it's just been made in Scottsdale.

But no matter what happens from this point, now I know all I need is a Red Apple cigarette and a flamethrower and I can blow everything up and start over!  It's the Hollywood way.

Christopher Studenka, Actor