3 Guys and a Rabbit

All smiles after a long day of filming.

Chris, Justin Rose, Greg Wave

In December 2020, my good friends Justin Rose, Greg Wave and myself, were foolish, crazy, and naive enough to think that we could not only make a Feature Film, but a good one.  One that could potentially play at Film Festivals and get us some exposure and a film that people, beyond just our family and friends, would like.  Justin and I had made Red Velvet Evening the year before and that turned out great.  While Greg and I had been a part of dozens and dozens of projects over the last few years, we'd always talked about making something ourselves.  Justin had just finished writing a tremendous script with Greg and I in mind as the main characters.  Then Justin and I made Father's Day with Greg as an actor and he got to see Justin's magic up close and that got the ball rolling.  So the three of us banded together and vowed to make what was at that time called "The Rabbit"

We've played all over the world, but at the beginning,
 it was all just hope.

We filmed Father's Day in December 2020 and January 2021 and during filming and the Post Production time, the three of us started meeting regularly to talk about and planning to make "The Rabbit".  The plan was for Greg and I to do all the Casting and the three of us would find all the locations and would do all the crew work and filmmaking.  If Greg or I weren't in a scene, we'd be holding the microphones or lights and doing setup. We would plan everything meticulously and not waste anyone's, including our own, time.  Which is a common occurrence in movie making.  The amount of time  on a set that I've sat around unnecessarily is gross and always irritating to me.  One of the things Greg and I vowed was to not do that to the actors and at the locations people let us use.

Helping to pave the way for the Rabbit. Still very proud of this.

Justin wrote the story with filming it in mind.  Thus it's written more like a play with longer scenes, heavy dialogue and simple locations.  For the most part.  It's a very intertwined story and now looking back, we were quite ambitious thinking we could pull this off.  But we met weekly either at Coffee Rush in Gilbert, Greg's place in Tempe or at Twin Peaks in Scottsdale. Sometimes two or three times a week.  We were meticulous in finding the right actors, the right locations and planning out all the props we would need.  Greg and I handled all the casting.  We went through all the actors we'd worked with over the years, went through multiple Agencies and got referrals and talked to dozens of people.  We purposely didn't want to hold any auditions.  Most of the parts required serious acting ability and we wanted to ensure we knew everyone we cast, as much as possible anyway.  When we wanted someone, we called them, met with them, talked at length, told each person how serious we were taking this and what our plans were upon completion.  Everyone we talked to loved the script, but not everyone wanted to be a part of it for various reasons.  

Justin made a really cool promo piece,
but at this point it was only a belief.

While this was going on, Justin finished post production on Father's Day and I started sending it out to Film Festivals all over the world.  I really believed it would do well and we told every actor we talked to about Rabbit that we'd made Father's Day and it was going to make a splash at Festivals and then Rabbit would do even better.  Of course, I had NO WAY AT ALL of knowing that, but I believed in it and sold that bill of goods to everyone.  As an actor, you want a great role, of course, but you also want the project to help you get exposure and hopefully help your own career.  I understood that, it was our whole intent in making Rabbit, so it was easy to sell because we all believed in it.  But actually making that happen is another story.  Almost all the projects in Arizona are garbage. We wanted to rise far above and set the standard and never compromise on that.

Finding the right rabbit mask was no easy feat! 
Posters by Steven and Cindy Leyba!!!

In March 2021 we decided we would film the opening scene.  It's a long scene and only has 2 people in it and so it was easy to set up.  Jeff Unterkofler and Greg were in the scene.  I'd done a feature film with Jeff in Northern California, so I knew he could act and that he would deliver and thankfully he agreed.  We met and planned and planned and the night of filming, we got an all day rainstorm, something that almost NEVER happens here in Arizona.  It hampered our lights outside, but the filming went great and Jeff and Greg were both outstanding.  The scene is over 20 minutes but cut down to about 12 in the final version.  But a lot of dialogue and filming and we were off to a great start!

Jeff and Greg on Day One of Filming!!!!

We thought we'd be good to go and started planning the next scenes, but one of our actors backed out, so we needed to fill a prominent role.  In so many projects I've been a part of this happens.  But then they just get someone, anyone,  to fill the role and keep going.  We chose not too.  We knew that having the right actors was far more important than just filling it in.  It set us back in time, but was easily the right thing to do and led us to Danny Zavala as Oscar.  Every single showing we've had, someone mentions him, because he was the perfect Oscar.  Had we used the original actor, it would have been a different film so we were blessed with Danny for sure!  However we did not film again until June.  During that time Father's Day really started to take off on the Festival circuit.  We won awards right away and it helped with the casting of Rabbit, pointing to proven results.  But it was also humbling, surprising and very cool.

Justin getting a great shot of Oscar, Danny Zavala,
finding the Rabbit mask.

That left most of our filming to be done in the summer.  In Phoenix.  Some of it outdoors.  Needless to say it was challenging.  But to a person, everyone was on board and everyone delivered, every time.  We filmed a scene with Jeff Kimble and Palimo Lopez at a really shitty, fleabag motel in Mesa.  It fit the look we wanted but it was a comically awful motel and we had to keep turning off the air conditioning because it was too noisy to film.  It became a hot box.  We were also interrupted by management thinking we were either shooting a porno or doing a drug deal. It was that kind of motel.  We also filmed a big scene in a garage and that was stifling hot.  But nothing compared to filming the desert scenes all day in 115 degrees and we were out in the middle of nowhere, so there was no cover. It was brutal.  But no one complained.  Every knew what to expect and we worked expeditiously and didn't waste anyone's time.  But it was HOT!!!

Filming in the desert in the middle of summer was no joke! 
Or maybe just stupid....

The remaining scenes were mostly indoors and once we were finally able to cast 7 year-old Isaac Leyba as Luis Cortez, in the most difficult role to cast, because not everyone wanted their child to be a dark film, we were able to wrap principal photography by late August.  During the summer and into the Fall, Father's Day was continuing to have a great run on the Film Festival circuit and we even got the chance to play at the famous Chinese Theater in Hollywood.  That was a big thrill and surreal.  I had been keeping everyone on Rabbit up to date on everything, as we would be following a similar path when completed and the success was fun to share.

 

At the Chinese Theater in Hollywood with Daniel Craig! 
The crowds may have been more for him but you won't convince me of that.

By late fall we were in heavy post production and busy with Father's Day Film Festivals.  We even got the chance to play at the Mesa International Film Festival, so everyone here in the Valley had a chance to see it.  Justin was busy doing the majority of the work at this point and he had created the first trailer for Rabbit.  When we sent that out on social media it really blew up.  I am sure it also helped us get the first of multiple offers to buy the film and it wasn't even finished.  I'd been posting still shots from filming on the IMDb page and now with the trailer, it was obvious we had something potentially good to outsiders.

Justin was continually making new promotional material
that we'd use online and for Festivals.

Once the new year came around, Justin had the film mostly in order and thought we needed to add a few more scenes, so we planned out and did add about 5 scenes.  Although most weren't full scenes, but rather a look or close up or something specific to add to a scene.  But whether you film for 10 minutes of 10 seconds, the set up is the same and the work is almost the same.  So we did those 5 different pieces and they definitely added some great layers.  Father's Day finished its run in March after winning some awards in Palm Springs and then playing at my alma mater for the Central Michigan International Film Festival.  That was a real personal thrill as I flew back and dozens of friends of mine drove to Mt. Pleasant to see it.  I never envisioned myself going back to CMU for anything remotely like this and it was a fantastic experience.

Film Festivals aplenty!!  We've been all over the world at nearly 100 film festivals this last year.

We had promised everyone in Rabbit a theater premier so they could all invite all their family and friends.  In late April 2022 the film was ready and we had the private premier at the Pollack Cinema in Tempe at a beautifully renovated theater and we let everyone invite whoever they wanted.  Justin was working on the film right up until we showed it that afternoon.  It was a really great day and I'm happy we were able to deliver on our promise.  Greg and I had seen some rough cuts, but this was everyone's chance to see it for the first time completed.  It went over really great with the audience and then we had a wonderful Q&A with the whole cast onstage afterwards.

Cast Premier at the Pollack Cinema with a great Q&A!

We immediately started sending it out to Film Festivals.  Following the same plan as Father's Day, lots of International Festivals and anything that was very soon.  We wanted as much immediate, independent, feedback as we could get.  1 day later we were an Official Selection in Albuquerque at the Mindfield Film Festival and an eventual winner.  Then the awards started pouring in from Europe; Best Feature Film in Hungary at the Black Cat Festival, at the Prague International Film Festival, Athens Greece, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Berlin, Germany, Stockholm, Sweden and then finally our first chance to play Live in the US at the Sunburn Film Festival in Tucson.  They only took 2 feature films and we were one of them.  Getting a feature in a Festival is a much more difficult achievement than a short film.  It's a time issue, they can take and show 10 Shorts for every feature, so they generally only take a handful at most.

Fantastic showing at the Sunburn Film Festival in Tucson. 
I don't even like Tucson! Lol

We had a great showing and crowd in Tucson and again, a chance for most of our actors to invite family and friends.  After that we started getting Selections all over, Orlando, NYC, Chicago, Las Vegas, Michigan and all over California.  But the ultimate was being chosen for the first SModcastle Film Festival in New Jersey put on by filmmaker extraordinaire Kevin Smith at his hometown theater that he has just purchased and put all his offices in.  It was very quickly dubbed Sundance East and we couldn't wait to attend.  

SModcastle Film Festival in NJ, but first Justin and I were on TV, Channel 3 in Phoenix promoting the torrent of Festivals we were also in that week; Mesa (AZ), Culver City(CA), Santa Clarita, CA.

SModcastle was everything we hoped and we made the right connection and subsequently were offered a deal for our film.  Exactly what we always hoped and envisioned.  It all, somehow, came true.  The deal allows us to still play in Film Festivals until it's release, so we have continued to do so and had more great showings and response.  We were just invited to share it at a Festival in Beverly Hills and we continue to have more ahead.  We were asked to write an article about our experience for a prominent filmmaking website and I was featured in an article when I returned to Michigan for the Adrian Film Festival.  I also did an extensive Podcast detailing all sorts of things about my life in this world.  It's been a wild ride.  It has also been a tremendous amount of work, time and effort, but none of it seemed that daunting at the time.  But looking back now, it was wildly ambitious. 3 guys, no budget, trying to do something that usually takes teams of people and millions of dollars.  Now we have a new, brilliant, script Justin has penned and we've started pre-production on an even more ambitious film.  It is exciting.  I'd never have thought it truly possible.  No matter what happens now for myself in the world of entertainment, I am beyond satisfied.  Starting from literally nothing just a few years ago, I've done way more than I had even thought possible.  I even wrote a film and had it play all over the world, winning awards and then to make Run Rabbit and have even more success, its' crazy to me.  As I get ready to go back to Michigan to speak at my alma mater, Central Michigan University,  for Alumni Weekend, about my life as an actor and filmmaker; well anyone that knew me then would be shocked, to say the least. Most of all, me. Fire Up!! 🐰🐇🐰

Forever Fired Up!!!!!

Quarantine 2020-Mask Free Blog!

2020 has been rough!!!!!

Pandemic got you down?  Are you bored, isolated, irritated, depressed, out of work, tired of working from home, frustrated or bored?  Well unless you are one of those that has still gone to work every day despite everything that's happened, I imagine you've been feeling all of those emotions.  I know I have.  When I moved to Arizona in August of 2012 I was single for the first time since college and living on my own in a new city where I didn't know a single person.  It was a dark and depressing time of my life after having been married for so long.  My days then consisted of getting up to run, going to work, come home, sit in the dark.  Repeat. Even though I was going out of the house every day, it felt very isolating.  This current situation and the quarantine has taken me right back to that time of my life.  However, now I have tons of friends here in Arizona and overall my life is very happy and blessed. So to be "isolated" this time, hasn't been nearly what it was for me before.  I'm sure everyone is getting used to their own situations.  I know for me, I've had far more interactions with my neighbors and even learned that Olympic gold medalist gymnast Olga Korbut is a neighbor.  That's in addition to my former next door neighbor, Olympic gymnast John Crosby, who passed away about 2 years ago. Somehow I live in a retired Olympic gymnast neighborhood.  Can I put in a request for Aly Raisman to move here next???  At any rate, maybe this shutdown does indeed have you bored, unsure, crazed, anxious or just plain lazy; for now just take a few minutes and read through this and maybe I can provide you with a smile or a laugh.  But either way, you will at least kill 10 minutes or so and that has to be worth something!  Masks not required.

With most filming shutdown, I've had a lot of free time, like most everyone else.  So I've binged watch a few shows and I'm not ashamed to say that I have now finally watched all of Breaking Bad and even Better Call Saul.  I am way late to the party, I understand that.  But when BB was on originally, I just never could get excited to watch a show about a guy that was making Meth, for whatever his reason.  I'm sure I'm not saying anything most of you don't already know, but what a fantastic show!  The writing was phenomenal and has continued with BCS. Although I had a hard time with the first season of that show, but once it picked up, it was as great as BB.  I once worked with an actress that was on BB, I didn't think much of it at the time.  I clearly was off on that one.  For the record though, she wasn't all that pleasant to work with. I highly recommend both shows, like most of America already has, but if you have yet to watch either, it's not too late to join the party. Now let's all go to Los Pollos Hermanos!!!!

I certainly view motorhomes much differently now,  including the Bounder I've seen in Tempe a few times.  Hmmmmm.

Before the pandemic and since I last blogged, I'd done dozens of projects including ACV which is now available on the website, I'm in the hazmat suit.  Too many to list and too many that aren't that exciting or great.  Being an actor, I'm not ashamed of anything I've done; however, not all of them need to be promoted.  Unlike many of my fellow actors, I don't post non-stop about every single thing I've done.  I'm not much of a social media person.  But for those interested here are some brief highlights:

The Deadbeats:  A sold out premiere and a fun movie to be a part of.  Go to Amazon and watch!

The Deadbeats:  A feature film available on Amazon Prime.  A fun film where I play a dad that may get into an altercation with a clown.  The actor that played that clown, Richard Anderson, is fantastic and the best I've ever worked with.  It's worth watching just for his performance. It premiered in Phoenix last fall and my parents got to go and that was pretty cool for me.

With Janel Scott and Director Justin Rose at the premiere. Great night!

Red Velvet Evening:  A featurette that I star in with Janel Scott.  She gives a stellar performance and it was great fun making this.  It premiered in Phoenix in January and was a big hit with the audience that night.  It was then accepted to a number of Film Festivals, however due to the pandemic, most of those have been cancelled.  Which is a big bummer, because this is a cool film and hopefully people will get the chance to see it.  Director Justin Rose is finishing his script for his next project, a feature film called "The Rabbit".  I'll play the rabbit and I'm very excited to dive into that one.

I'm now officially a writer and producer as well as a two-bit actor!
Hopefully coming to a Festival near you, someday.....

Acceptance:  This was a short film that I wrote and starred in and then was able to get produced and made.  It was quite an experience being on the other end as well as acting.  I am beyond thankful for all of the other actors who were part of this.  Everyone I asked, immediately said yes, even though they all had very small roles and all are lead actor types.  It played to a full crowd in Phoenix last fall and was then sent to Film Festivals as well and of course many were canceled.  But I'm hopeful to still get it out there when things pick back up.

A man whose life spirals out of control.  Seems autobiographical, hmmmm.😉

Steve:  Another short film that I starred in last fall.  It turned out great and a cool poster too, if I can be less than humble.  It was set to premiere in Phoenix in March and well, we all know what happened.  And to sound like a broken record, it too was set for many a festival with he same results for now.  However,  I was actually filming a follow up called "Grey Road" in March and we got shut down during the middle of filming.  I am hoping it can get picked back up.  If nothing else, I hope "Steve" can get some more play somewhere.  

Miami Vice meets Scarface and I'm Tony Montana.  It's been fun.

Loaded Monday:  This feature film is a lot like a Miami Vice episode on steroids and I get to play the villain, which so far has been fun.  We were filming this in March as well and then everything got shutdown.  We are getting ready to pick back up and finish filming soon.  I have some intense scenes left as I play a nasty drug lord, quick with the bullets.  The Director has said that the scenes we already filmed turned out really well and hopefully we will finish strong too.  This film should end up on Prime when complete.

Filming in Tucson, so definite horror.  But at least it wasn't Portland.

Sweet Dreams:  My first horror film, although not a blood and guts type.  I play a terrible father, not surprisingly, that tortures his daughter.  I only have a small part and I'm done filming but they still have a few scenes left and it will be wrapped.  I was able to get my friend Jim Perry a role in this as well, so it was fun working with him.  We filmed in Tucson, so for at least one day, I was able to bring some real acting to our step-sibling sister city.  Tucson is not exactly a hotbed of talent or much else, except high crime.  But it was a fun shoot and I look forward to seeing it finished.  I don't normally do horror or zombie type films because they are usually lame and it doesn't really require acting, just being a "clown" or "possessed".  That doesn't do much for me.  But I was happy to get back to work and to play a layered character.  Could I sound more Hollywood douche????  

Scenes from Seven Devils and The Diner.  Both coming to a theater near you  when the pandemic is over.  Hopefully.  Two of my best performances yet.

Seven Devils/The Diner/Joker:  Seven Devils is easily the best film I've done.  It's a twilight zone-esque thriller and I have a very cool role.  It was just finally completed after being filmed in Seattle, LA and Phoenix.  A long post-production but very much worth it. You can see the first, temporary, trailer right here!  The Director liked me so much he wrote this music video scenario with me in mind. The Diner, temporary title, is similar in that it's had a long post-production time. But it's also a similar type of thriller film and I have a fantastic role in it as well.  I've seen the rough cut and it's excellent.  Both of these films got me my SAG-AFTRA card, but I still choose to be non-union for now.  However, I'm very thankful for both opportunities and both are as good as any films out there.  I also had the chance to do a full reenactment of a scene from the Joker for a studio/promotion project.  We reenacted this scene with Diana Baker-Collins playing the therapist. We rehearsed quite a bit and I'm excited to see how it turned out, Diana was excellent.  The pictures are cool at least and beyond that, it's such a complex and difficult role that it was a great challenge to try and be Arthur Fleck.

Joker shoot.  Very challenging but more than worth it.

I did a number of other films and commercials, including one in Tucson-yay!!!  A few I was in the middle of, or had wrapped filming, before the shutdowns. It's been a busy year. I also had the chance to do a few interviews. Both are about an hour each and you can watch them here:

Chai Chats  Thank you Apichai!

Mosaic Entertainment Group Thank you Jermaine!

The audience was certainly.....intrigued by my act. But I will be back on stage!

But enough about movies, late last fall I had the chance to do something I had always wanted to do at least once and that was Stand Up Comedy.  I was lucky enough to meet Jim Perry, The Cop Comic, who is based out of Phoenix but has played many a stage all over the country.  He hosts some charity shows at American Legions across the Valley and I asked him if he'd ever be willing to let me do a few minutes at one of his charity events.  They are free to public, so I figured if I stink, nobody can really complain.  He happily agreed and next thing I knew I was booked so I started practicing and getting an act together.  I had invited a number of my friends and told them to drink a lot of beer and have zero expectations. They obliged and I was very appreciative of those that came out to support me that night.  I was pretty nervous, but at the same time, as an actor I perform all the time and memorizing my routine was not difficult just hoping for a decent crowd reaction and to not embarrass myself in front of my friends.  But Jim called me up on stage and my opening joke hit, the second one killed and then it was smooth sailing.  My act was dark and probably disturbing to most, but the crowd enjoyed it. I like to think of it as more cerebral humor.  At any rate it was fun and there may be footage out there that I'd be willing to share, for a price.  You've been warned.

We came across this weird redneck, voodoo doll on one of our walks.  Am I cursed now for touching it? 

But beyond all of my entertainment life, the pandemic has definitely changed life for everyone, in about every single way.  So you have to do different things to stay busy.  My friend Jack and I have gotten to walking 3 days a week, I run the other 4, all over Scottsdale.  If you didn't realize, Scottsdale is huge, literally 30 miles long by about 6 miles wide.  We've walked hundreds of miles so far, even during July which became the hottest recorded month ever in Phoenix history, and we have covered many a road.  During each walk we always take a picture of anything unusual we see and that's been fun. You may drive all over your own neighborhood and town every day, but I guarantee you miss so much unless you walk it.  Amazing all the little things we've come across and it's been great exercise, great socializing-while still being safe, and interesting.  Jack's lived in Scottsdale 30 years and even he's been surprised at all we've come across. Finding your own way through this is what it's all about.  We don't have to stay inside completely.

The new USS Arizona exhibit in Scottsdale with Jack and 3G.  If not for the pandemic, I may never have come across it.  Its almost a complete replica to the one in Pearl Harbor including an actual piece of the ship.

Now I know what you must be thinking, what a bunch of self-serving, egotistical blather.  Could I possibly talk about myself anymore?  Well, first, it is my blog, so there's that.  However, you are correct.  For those that are friends with me on Facebook, my only social media, you know I post very, very little about anything.  Occasionally  I'll dump some stuff on my blog because people ask what I'm up to.  I really don't talk about my acting with anyone as it does seem rather narcissistic and if you didn't realize it, much of what I said, is with a sarcastic tone, I don't take myself that seriously.  But I figured everyone is home these days and probably have run out of stuff to watch and do, so maybe this blog and the links within, can at least give you a diversion.  At any rate I've been fortunate to have a lot of work this year already, including filming a few things during the quarantine right or wrong, hold your judgment, no one is asking your opinion here, just mine, my blog, remember?  But hang in there, the world hasn't ended, it won't end and everything will get back to normal, hopefully, before too long.  Maybe even right after November 3??  Now let's all make sure we do everything we can to ensure the football season can happen.  Let's not let the corona virus win that battle!!

Even during a Pandemic you can always stay Fired Up!!!

ANITA: Behind the Scenes

Here's your chance to finally watch  Anita.
 But remember once you see it you cannot unsee it.

Recently an award-winning short film I starred in, "Anita" played at the Filmbar in Phoenix.  I had always hoped to have this film play in Phoenix.  I am very proud of this film and my work in it, even though I play an absolutely despicable human being.  Many of my friends came to the showing that night and it was received very well by the audience.  Since so many of my family and friends are not in Phoenix and many have asked for the chance to see it, I can now finally share a link to watch it.  So please take 20 uninterrupted minutes and watch it on as big a screen as you can because it will have more impact than if you watch it on your phone at work and get distracted a million times.  Afterward remember, I WAS JUST ACTING!  You've been warned, lest you want to potentially think of me differently after viewing. Then continue reading the blog and you can learn about my time making it over 5 days in Flagstaff and all the challenges that came with it.  Without further adieu, here is "Anita":

https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=10s&v=gqfyAhnN4LQ

Well if you made it back to this point, let me first thank you for taking the time to watch it.  Second, I hope you still want to be my friend.  But seriously this was a very challenging role to take, to do and to then watch myself on screen acting in such a manner. Let's start at the beginning.

Preparing for the most challenging role I may ever have.

In February 2018 I was auditioning for a different movie and afterward the casting director told me he had another film he thought I'd be great for and would I be interested in auditioning for something else.  I did and it was for "Anita".  The casting call was looking for a male my age to play an abusive father and someone who could potentially speak French.  So that was all it said and abusive can mean so many different things.  None of them good of course, but not all of them as evil as it turned out to be.  I had taken French in high school with Madame Balasis(those who had her remember her wackiness very well) so of course I speak french! As an actor when asked to do anything your first response is always, "Yes, I can do that." So of course I'm a French linguist, even though it was 20+ years ago and I haven't spoken any of it since.  C'est Bon! As far as auditions go, they usually give you a scene or two to do in front of people.  But those scenes don't always give you the full scope of the movie.  In this case I auditioned for the writer/Director and the casting director and I knew it went great.  I spoke the french well, even though I had no idea what I said, but I remember how to read and speak it.  Madame Balasis always told me I had "perfect intonation and annunciation".  Who knew that would actually prove valuable at any point in my life!  You generally know when you audition well, you can feel it, and afterward they asked me to wait while they auditioned a few others.  When they were done they told me they really liked me and they wanted me to read the whole script. So I did and soon realized the full scope of the part that I had just auditioned for.  But to their credit they wanted me to know before things went any further.  They didn't offer me the part at that moment, but I was in the mix and they wanted me to be fully aware if I was to stay in the running.  The next day, or maybe a few days later, they offered me the part. Now I had thought about the heaviness of this part since reading the full script and I was on the fence, but I'm telling you as an actor when someone offers you a part you almost instinctively shout  "Yes" every time.  In this case I knew that the production quality  was going to be very high-level and it would be an immensely challenging character to play and I have enjoyed stretching myself as an actor, so I readily signed on.

Kelcie and I rehearsing with me likely telling a bad joke.

We had some rehearsals ahead of filming which was going to take place over 5 days in Flagstaff, Arizona in March 2018.  During rehearsal is when I finally had the chance to meet Kelcie Weber who would play Anita.  I thought my role was challenging, hers maybe more so.  Either way, we would both need to be prepared for some intense days. For a lot of films you don't have any rehearsal. It's usually a time issue and people not always being close by, so once you get on set, that's it.  In this case it was nice to have the chance to meet Kelcie ahead of time and practice.  We seemed to instantly have a good rapport and it appeared to me that we would work well together.  Obviously this was some intense stuff so it was really important for us to be in sync.  It's such a serious film but some levity was brought to the whole situation by being able to meet and rehearse ahead of time.

Family photos.  Doesn't Anita looked thrilled?  
Look closely in the film and you'll see it in the background.

When it was time for filming, they had rented an Air BnB  in Flagstaff and we had the bottom floor of a house.  Ironically they chose this particular location because the room had a giant fireplace.  However good luck seeing in the movie. The owners lived upstairs and were there the whole time and fully aware of what we were doing.  I met them and ironically they were from Marquette, Michigan and had moved to Arizona a number of years before. So I took that as a good omen from the start.  They even had a broken guitar, for whatever reason, so they let us use that, which if you did indeed watch the movie all the way through, you know that was a vital prop. In fact everything in the room was specific to the movie.  They cleared out the whole room and brought in all the furniture and props, everything was relevant to the characters whether you actually noticed the props or not.  Detail beyond any project I've ever worked on before or since.

Getting underway with Scene 1.  
Interesting being in bed with literally 25+ people around you.

As I recall the first day on set we just did blocking and walk through rehearsing.  It was all filmed in a bedroom, so a tight space and we spent time figuring out where the camera could be and all the crew and such when we did certain scenes.  A really good film figures this stuff out so that each shot gets the best quality look and there is more movement in this film then you may think, even if you just watched it.  We move around the bed and on the floor and such and you need different camera angles for everything.  When we finally got to filming, the day started with both of us in hair and makeup.  They had multiple people doing this, even though there were only 2 of us.  Then we started shooting and for the most part we filmed in order, which is not always the case. So we started with us on the bed and Anita telling me to Fuck Off in French.  Rehearsing and preparing is one thing, but when the camera is on it's time to perform and hopefully we would have the right chemistry on-screen.  Her cursing at me was the perfect way to start.

Getting notes from Director Mariah Jones.

After a long day we wrapped and everyone was pleased as it seemed to go really well.  Kelcie and I had seemed to find a good rapport, which is the only way this film works.  She couldn't just hate my character, after all I adopted her as a kid, when no one else did, so to her character she had to be conflicted about someone that took her in and "loved" her while also realizing later on that what he'd done is wrong and horrible.  So there were many layers for her to convey.  Just like there was for me because for my character he "saved" her and doesn't think what he's doing is necessarily wrong so I had to not just be an angry abuser but show "love" and that I care about her in my own demented way. Needless to say, challenging and after Day 1 we felt good on the direction it was going. Onto to Day 2 when the first thing we learned while sitting in hair and make up(I hardly needed any, I have perfect skin after all, I am a model) is the guy operating the sound screwed it up yesterday so everything we did was without sound and would have to be redone. Clearly not good news.  However, with every project I've been on I am happy to redo anything because the more you do it, the better you get at that scene and new ideas come about and after all, yesterday was Day 1 and Kelcie and I were still figuring each other out. So it did indeed set us back in time but we'd already blocked and shot everything once so all of the technical stuff was out of the way and we could just act the scenes out again.  In the end I would say it was a blessing. In the moment, sacre bleu!

There was more choreography than you may think with our dance scene.

Day 2 went really well, the sound issues were resolved.  We did the dance scene, which really took a lot of time as our movements had to be shot from different angles and again the room was a tight space for the 25+ crew and camera. As we headed into Day 3 we were going to focus the day on the scene where I draw on her body, highlighting her problem areas with a sharpie.  Certainly it was going to be an intense day.  If you watch it back you will see that I have all the lines in that scene, but Kelcie is completely exposed and has to cry, so it was challenging.  I could only really draw on her once as the sharpie would be too hard to wash off for multiple takes, so we had to get it right.  Plus I was going to have to touch her and make an absolutely uncomfortable situation seem "normal" to my character.  The Director cleared the room for this scene so it was really just the Camera and sound and her and us two.  We rehearsed multiple times because I wanted to get it right, of course, but I only wanted Kelcie to be exposed as little as possible.  So we rehearsed and rehearsed and then I asked to rehearse again.  Each time I had it right but I was nervous.  Finally the Director said we are doing it and of course about halfway through I screwed up a line. I felt so terrible, I really did.  So we did it again and that's what you see on film.  We had to shoot a few different angles, it was a tough day.  I'm honestly not sure if Kelcie and I spoke to each other off camera all day.  We were both in a weird and difficult place that day.  Considering we were the only two actors and there is tons of downtime when filming, we seemed to stay apart. Easily the most uncomfortable I've ever been on set and it was nobody's fault, just the heaviness of what we just did.  That night I had a bit of a freak out and I talked at length with my Manager Erin-Marie. At that moment I was really conflicted with haven taken this role and playing such a horrible person and having it on film, but she talked me down and she probably has no idea how much that truly helped me get through it.  I never really thought of walking away but I definitely was in a weird space after being "Hayden" for 3 days. You can't be that evil and then just go back to being your regular self, well not  unless you really are a sociopath.

This was not an easy role to play and it messed me up a bit for a few days after.

Day 4 came and we did the death scene.  I spent over an hour in makeup as they built a fake neck on my neck that was bloody and looked like someone that had been strangled.  I had to lay perfectly flat the whole time with my head tilted.  It was really uncomfortable.  We did that scene a number of times and the lead up to it with Anita on the floor and climbing up on the bed towards me. This was the ultimate scene in the movie so it had to be done right.  We did a number of variations of my look as I am dying.  Originally they wanted me to smile as I died as though I knew this day would come.  But ultimately we went with me just struggling and fighting back and closing my eyes.  One of the reasons I knew this film would turn out well is because they had me do my lines many different ways.  Some really angry, some really loving, some in between.  Then they had all the footage to piece together and had variations for each point of the film.

Anita getting ready to climb up on the bed and end her misery.

Watching the playback of Anita killing me with Director Mariah Jones. 
When I saw this I instantly new we had something special.

As I recall, Day 5 was just some inserts and light reshoots, nothing heavy and it was only a few hours.  We wrapped and I drove back home.  When you finish any movie its a strange experience as you've just spent time being someone else and in this case 5 days of being someone horrible.  I felt uncomfortable and gross for a day or two. I had another minor episode of "What have I done?" knowing this would be on film forever and people may get a bad impression of me.  It's a quandary in that if I play the character well people will hate me and at the same time if I don't do a good job the movie will suffer and people will see that I can't act. So I really struggled with that. However I knew we had just done something special, as creepy as it is.  During the filming of the sharpie scene is when I found out this was based on a true story.  To which I immediately said they have to open the movie with that so that people know it's not just a vicious movie and that I'm not just a horrific made up character but a real one.  Unfortunately a bad man,  but I felt the audience needed to know that.  They thought it was a good idea and were going to consider adding that and ultimately did and when you see that at the end it really does have an impact.

The final shot of movie.  That a wrap!

We finished shooting in March 2018 and their first goal was to show it at the historic Orpheum Theater in Flagstaff in May for a Film Festival. So I waited for that and saw no footage and no pictures before then. I had felt when working on it that we really had something good but I had no way of knowing.  Editing, music, sound quality, it all plays so much of a factor for any movie, you just never know how it will turn out.  Leading up to the premier I decided to not shave because I wanted to look as different as I could from filming.  It's a big theater and it was sold out that night.  I was very nervous for many reasons.  The Director of the festival recognized me, as he had watched all the films, and he came over to me.  We talked and I mentioned I had not seen our film yet, no footage at all.  He then told me I was "excellent" and that gave me a moment of calmness. When it finally played it was surreal watching myself.  Even I felt gross at times.  I had no idea how the audience would respond to such a dark film but they seemed to embrace it as it was greatly received and won the first of many awards that night before being sent to film festivals all over the country.  When it finally played in Phoenix a few weeks ago, I hesitated to even invite my friends because I didn't want them to potentially view me differently.  No one had seen it but me.  However that night, Kelcie and I were warmly received.  People were shocked and uncomfortable, I'm sure, but the compliments afterward were very appreciative and humbling.  I may never again play a character so dark or challenging but I am happy that I stretched myself to do it.  Playing this character in many ways has made me a true actor. It was an incredibly difficult 5 days in Flagstaff making this but it was also a privilege to be a part of this no matter how dark it was or how it makes me look.  It's acting.

However, it does seem like it's time for me to finally do something a little lighter! 
Perdre la boule!

The beard didn't disguise me very well as I was recognized by seemingly everyone that night, 
but in the end I am extremely proud to have been a part of this film.